Two Broken Pennies. . .

When That’s All We Have to Give

(By R Butch David)

This evening, I found myself thinking about “when?” When did this happen in my life, when did that happen and perhaps even why? We’ve all endured some painful experiences in our lives, and many of them have come through the hands of people whom we care about and love. I also thought about why would God allow any of this terrible stuff to happen to me? As I thought about so many of these painful experiences, I’ve often wondered where God was in all of this. Or maybe even, where He wasn’t and where had He gone. Then an even deeper question came to me – WHEN did God ever leave me?

It would appear to be true, that there are two things God simply cannot do. We know in Truth that God cannot lie. Yet, when I consider that His Word also says “He holds the universe in the span of His Hand,” I come to think about just how BIG His back must be. So, the second thing I believe God can’t do is turn His back on us. I think it’s just too big. After all, Jesus does say “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. . . EVER.”

I’ve come to learn that my expectations of others are often the things that hurt me the most. I used to find myself “SHOULDING” all over people. I've thought things like, “you SHOULD have done this,” or “they SHOULD have done that.”  

There were other times I've also thought about “SHOULD-NOTTING” on people. “She SHOULD-NOT have done that,” or “they SHOULD-NOT have said those hurtful things.” But either way, it was really my “expectation” of what others should or should not do, that wound up hurting me. And unfortunately, that unhealthy and hurtful attitude on my part also wound up hurting the other person (even more).

A friend of mine put it this way, “I am not surprised at all when people sin (hurt us) – I’m surprised when they don’t.” (Ken Unger) I have also thought of that another way. “I’m not surprised at all when people don’t do what they say – I am surprised when they do.” And just in case any of us are pointing our fingers at someone else, we might all benefit and come to learn that the best place to point our fingers. . . is in the mirror.

Hurt people, hurt people – and that’s a fact. I’ve learned that all of us, at various times in our lives, are acting out of our own woundedness. For me, my broken heart just didn’t lend itself well to loving people. Nor did that same broken heart allow me to love myself or receive love from others.
As the saying goes, “We’re all doing and giving our crummy best.” And yet despite knowing that, we place expectations on others to do things and to give what they are simply unable to do or give. “Shoulding” on people was a bad habit of mine that I’ve worked on breaking for a while now. As with myself, maybe people who are hurting are simply giving all that they can give. Maybe we need to accept whatever that giving is – and not expect so much. Truly, I have found that my expectations need to be of God and not of others.

I’ve recently searched for some deeper Truth and meaning behind an account from the Bible. It’s the passage about what people are able to give, and even how God feels about that. . . Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on." (Mark 12:41 – 44) Maybe that’s what it’s like with just Two Broken Pennies. . . When That's All We Have to Give.

I’ve learned that people give, only what they are able to give. And to be honest, when I was living out of a broken and wounded heart, I eventually came to realize that I really didn’t have all that much to give – especially in my personal relationships with others. The lifetime of hurts that I carried and continued to take on eventually brought me to a place where I truly felt like I was a wounded soldier – one who was “lying on the ground, shot full of holes, bleeding all over the place.”

So if we think about that, what exactly would any of us expect from someone in that condition? Maybe if we said something like, “Come on and get up,” or “Why are you just lying there like that – why can’t you help me or even help yourself?” it would make a difference. Or, what if we said something like, “You SHOULD have known better,” or “You SHOULDN'T have let those things (hurts) bother you,” or even “You’re just TOO sensitive,” they would somehow snap out of their pain and woundedness???

Maybe if we confirmed to them, “I tried to help you,” that they would miraculously get better and realize that all of their problems were already solved. And maybe, if we asked the question, “Why are you acting like that, what’s wrong with you?” it might make a difference. And finally, maybe if we “should” on them a little more by saying, “You SHOULD have gotten well a couple of years ago,” they would somehow feel better and all of the past hurts would be resolved, healed and erased, along with any brokenness that resulted in that particular relationship. Wow! Those are ALL great concepts. . . why didn’t I think of that?

But seriously. . . the criticism, judgment and expectations that we place upon those who are hurting, simply won’t help. That’s just another form of “finger-pointing.” In fact, our judgment of those who are hurting, or have hurt us, usually makes things only worse. Jesus didn’t condemn the woman caught in adultery, nor did He condemn Peter (after the crucifixion) – He simply LOVED them and told them they were Forgiven – done. I think I’ve come to understand that it’s in the Forgiveness of Christ that each of us, even in our relationships with others, is able to be Truly Healed.

Again, anything other than Unconditional Love, Compassion, Mercy and Forgiveness will NOT make a difference. When people are wounded, they need to be healed – period. God looks upon us in our wounded condition and He offers His only solution to our “incurable wound.” I have personally experienced that solution is in “The Christ who came to heal the brokenhearted.” Yet, until each of us are brought to the place in our own personal brokenness that we hear Christ ask us, “Do you want to get well?” – nothing that anyone might say or do is going to make much of a difference. I’ve learned that it was God’s full intention to bring me to the end of myself. And, it wasn’t until I came to that place of total brokenness that I clearly heard Him ask me that question. It was at that time, I found myself telling Him, “Lord. . . I need to get well.”

Unfortunately, Christ’s Healing and Transformation of our broken and wounded hearts can’t be sold anymore than His Salvation can. People are simply at that place in their lives where they want it, or they don’t. And truly, I've also come to accept that "You can't make anyone follow where they don't want to go."

Aside from the miracle of healing by God’s Grace and Mercy, if you have cancer, the only thing that will heal that is treatment and surgery. You can’t run away from cancer. Maybe we feel that the cancer is in a particular relationship with someone else. But still, running away isn’t going to stop the infection – especially if the cancer is within each of you, within your hearts, in that relationship. Until we come to the realization that each of us has cancer, that is a broken and wounded heart, it will simply continue to follow us wherever we go, regardless of who we are with. The healing has to start from within (on the inside). . . not from without (on the outside).

So, until each of us comes to the place where we truly “want to get well,” then maybe all we’ll have to give is just Two Broken Pennies. And maybe even for that, as Christ said of the woman in the temple, God still says, “It is good. . .”