Jesus on Discipleship

The Ultimate “Discipleship Checklist”. . . LOVE 

During a sermon back in 1990, I recall a rather well-known Pastor of a large church on Cleveland’s East-side sharing, “The ‘Main Thing’ is the ‘Plain Thing’ and the ‘Plain Thing’ is the ‘Main Thing’.” This particular church, like so many others that I’ve visited over the years, had a “Mission Statement” as to what their ultimate purpose was. And, their purpose is
(quoting Jesus) “To go forth and make Disciples of all nations.” Now THAT sounds like a pretty darn good PLAN to me. Afterall, a Disciple is
a “True Follower” of Christ. One who (hopefully) knows Him intimately, follows His Teachings and is willing to Trust Him completely – not only
for their Eternal Destiny, but also for Life. . . even here and now.

Early in my Christian faith, I too was being “Discipled” through select people and various “approved” Christian resources. I was encouraged to read and memorize Scripture, shown how to interpret the Bible, taught the importance of obeying Biblical commands and laws, and even how to pray. Truly, I felt good about that. Being a “Disciple of Christ” (hopefully) meant that I was “being equipped”, like so many others, to go out and share the Gospel (Good News) with the intent of “advancing The Kingdom.” I was taught that my “Walk with The Lord” was significant because I was now becoming Christ’s “Personal Representative” here on Earth. It was kind of
like, “look at me – see Jesus.” Really??? As I look back at myself, I must admit “not hardly, or even close.” Eventually, I came to realize that I missed the “Main Thing” about Christ and what He was really teaching.

You see, Jesus is truly all about LOVE. And, I’m not sure that I really learned how to Love (and how to Forgive) – Jesus-Style. My discipleship seemed to revolve around the rules, regulations and doctrine I needed to observe in being part of the “Church.” And for me, after being a “Follower” for over 20-years now, I have to admit that the “training” I initially received felt like it was akin to the lyrics from the song Goody Two Shoes by the 1980s Music Artist, Adam Ant – “You don’t drink, don’t smoke – what do you do? Subtle innuedos follow – there MUST BE something inside.” Unfortunately, I did drink and I did smoke – and I still do. But, is the “outside of my cup” what really matters to Christ, or is it “the inside” (my Heart) that He truly cares about “transforming”? Hmmm. . .

So when it comes to the “Heart of the Matter,” perhaps we could all take a good look in the mirror (while God is looking too) and ask ourselves this one question. . . In regards to our “Being a Disciple” and our willingness to follow Christ: “SELF – how are you doing with that ‘LOVE THING’?”
I mean, isn’t THAT the “Main Thing”?

God is LOVE and without Unconditional Love, as Jesus demonstrated. . . well, maybe we’re all just “Full of Baloney.” Yeah, maybe without Love,
it’s kind of like Jerry Seinfeld would say: “Yadda, yadda, yadda.” And chances are, if we pridefully think that we’re doing just fine in the area of Unconditional Love – God will surely send someone who is “unlovable” our way just to show us where we’re really at, versus His Standards.

In all of our “Discipleship Training,” have we been teaching people how to Love, unconditionally, and Forgive from the Heart, as Jesus taught? Or, have we been teaching others how to observe Biblical Law and to obey the rules, regulations and doctrine of our various church denominations? I mean truly, regardless of what “the Church” is teaching about discipleship – Is ANYONE really teaching us about “How to Love,” Jesus-Style?
So as I “Ask, Seek and Knock,” here are some questions regarding the teachings that Jesus shared with people.

Do we Love others (conditionally) only "if and when" they do and say
what we want, in living up to our standards? Or, do we Truly Love them (Unconditionally) without expectations, which is the way that God Loves each of us?

Do we pray for our enemies (those who have hurt us or speak negatively
of us) and BLESS THEM?

Do we “turn the other cheek” when others beat us and put us down (verbally or otherwise)?

Do we attempt to “Make Peace” and Forgive our Brother or Sister (Neighbor) or do we continue to hold a grudge?

Do we give freely to those who ask of us, or do we tend to qualify (judge) them as to whether or not “their need” is truly legitimate, before we’re willing to help?

Do we “go the extra mile” with someone, especially when it’s an inconvenience to us?

Do we treat those who hurt us with kindness, in an attempt to purposely “heap burning coals upon their heads”? (Which truly, if that’s our motive,
is an “act of vengeance”) And, do we continue to Love those who might hate us?

From Holy Scripture, here are a few more “things” which Jesus taught (commanded) His Disciples, if indeed, they were going to “Follow Him.” I’ve also listed a few more things which His Disciples, themselves, wrote and taught:

John 13:34  "A new command I give you: LOVE one another. As I have LOVED you, so you must LOVE one another.”
John 13:35  “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you LOVE one another."

From Paul, the Apostle and a Disciple of Christ:

Romans 12:10  “Be devoted to one another in BROTHERLY LOVE.
Honor one another above yourselves.”

Romans 13:8  “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing
debt to LOVE one another, for he who LOVES his fellowman has fulfilled
the law.”

Galations 5:13  “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not
use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in LOVE.”

Ephesians 4:2  “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
bearing with one another in LOVE.”

Hebrews 10:24  “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward LOVE and good deeds.”

From Peter, the Apostle and a Disciple of Christ:

1Peter 1:22  “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have SINCERE LOVE for your brothers, LOVE one another deeply, from the heart.”

1Peter 3:8  “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, LOVE as brothers, be compassionate and humble.”

1Peter 5:14  “Greet one another with a kiss of LOVE. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.”

From John, the Apostle “whom Jesus loved” and
a Disciple of Christ:

1John 3:11  “This is the message you heard from the beginning:
We should LOVE one another.”

1John 3:23  “And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to LOVE one another as he commanded us.”

1John 4:7  “Dear friends, let us LOVE one another, for LOVE comes from God. Everyone who LOVES has been born of God and knows God.”

1John 4:11  “Dear friends, since God so LOVED us, we also
ought to LOVE one another.”

1John 4:12  “No one has ever seen God; but if we LOVE one another,
God lives in us and His LOVE is made complete in us.”

2John 1:5  “And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command, but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we LOVE one another.”

But maybe, some are still asking questions about “sin,” and “the Laws
of God” and (self) “righteousness”? Well, how about while we’re at it, we throw in the “Righteousness, Peace and Joy” of Christ Jesus? I mean truly (as Paul the Apostle says), “Without LOVE – We are nothing.” And, that’s why God gave us his only Begotten Son – to freely offer His Unconditional Love and Heartfelt Forgiveness to each of us who would indeed “receive Him.” And in case any of us still aren’t sure, God says, “LOVE conquers a multitude of sins” (hurts).

May we all abound (and be “Discipled”) in His Unconditional Love –
It's really the "Main Thing.”

R Butch David 

Here's a short video, just in case we need a "reminder". . .

 

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

So WHO, Exactly, is My Neighbor?

Sharing an Article by Keith Giles

Did you ever move into a new neighborhood and wonder what your new neighbors would be like? Sometimes, before we choose our location for living, we try to find out as much as we can. Other times, it may be less significant to us because we really don’t have a choice based upon our employment needs, our income and affordability or other circumstances.

Suppose once we do move in, we discover that our new neighbors aren’t exactly what we’d prefer. Maybe they’re of a different color, or race, or religion. Or, they have a different political mindset than we do. Maybe they don’t drive as nice of a car as we do or keep their yard looking the way we’d like. Or, they’re just too noisy. Maybe, they have friends that are the kind of people we don’t like. Suppose they turn out to be someone who has a different sexual preference than we do.

Well, let me ask the question. . . If your house was burning down and you were in dire need of help, would you give a damn about who your neighbor was then? My guess is at that point, we really wouldn’t care WHO are neighbor is, especially if they were willing to help us. Yeah, I suppose that all of those other preferences which we might have for our neighbors would simply vanish – like the smoke from our burning house.

Following is an article written by author Keith Giles. It made me think about what kind of “neighbor” I would be to MY neighbors. . . And ideally, what if the “neighbor question” really isn’t about who lives next-door to us? But rather, is about EVERY person we come in contact with on any given day – whether we know and associate with them, or not.

Here’s to Loving our Neighbors (people) – regardless of WHO they are.

R Butch David

Who Exactly is My Neighbor

(By Keith Giles*)

In the Gospels, Jesus addresses the Great Command twice. The first time he refers to this, it’s to illustrate how all of the law can be summarized by loving God and loving your neighbor. (Matt 22:34-40) The second time, he expands on the same thought in response to the question, “Who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:25-37)

In each case, the person who initiated the conversation was a lawyer. In Matthew, the question is asked in order to test Jesus and, possibly, make him look foolish to the crowds who were following him. In the second case, the lawyer asks a different question, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” but the question is also intended to test Jesus. His response to the lawyer in this second case is to ask the lawyer, “What is written in the Law?” and it is the lawyer who says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.”

To the lawyer Jesus says, "You have answered correctly. Do this and you will live." (v. 28)

But the lawyer isn’t satisfied with this answer. Instead, he wants to “justify himself” (v.29) and so he asks, “So WHO, Exactly, is My Neighbor?” (paraphrased – rbd).

To set this man straight, Jesus tells a parable that most of us know as the Good Samaritan. However, most of what is really going on in this exchange is lost to us today.

What we miss, first, is that Jesus flips the story around so that the person who is in need of mercy and love is the Jew. In effect, he’s saying, “You are walking along a dangerous road and a group of thieves jump out and beat the stuffing out of you. They rob you and leave you laying on the road to die.” Now the person who is in need of mercy isn't “your neighbor”. . . it’s YOU.

The lawyer asked “Who is my neighbor?” because he wanted to know where the line was drawn when it came to showing love to others. Obviously we’re not supposed to just love anyone and everyone, right? God just wants us to love the people who are like us, and who agree with us, right? WRONG.

This is why Jesus chooses the hero of the story to be a Samaritan. They were very much disliked in this day and time by the Jews. For you and I, Jesus might alter the parable to read something like this:

“But an illegal immigrant from Mexico, as he traveled, came where the man was…” Or maybe: "...and when the Muslim man saw him, he took pity on him." Or perhaps: “The homosexual, liberal, democrat went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.” Or even: “Then the Republican Senator put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him.”

You see, it doesn’t matter really. You probably know already what person – or persons – Jesus would insert into your version of the parable if he were telling it to you. Maybe it’s a member of a political party, or an ethnic group, or someone who doesn’t share your family values. Who knows? God does. And He expects you to see that person as your neighbor, and therefore, someone worthy of love and compassion.

At the end of the parable, Jesus asks, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” (v. 36) The lawyer cannot even bring himself to say the word ‘Samaritan’, he only says, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Here, the point is, that when we are the ones laying in the ditch, we really stop caring who comes to help us – we just want someone to show us a little human kindness. That’s why Jesus flips the story around. He wants us to understand that color, and politics, and differences of opinion mean nothing when it comes right down to it. Love is our calling, and we have no excuses in God’s eyes when it comes to who deserves to be loved.

One of my all-time favorite verses in the New Testament is 1Corinthians 6:9-11 which says: “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

That sounds pretty harsh, doesn’t it? And it might be if Paul didn’t add the very next sentence. Just about the time everyone is making a fist and getting ready to slam it down to say, “That’s right!” he adds:

“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

See that? The church in Corinth was composed of former adulterers, sexual deviants, male prostitutes, idolaters, homosexual offenders, thieves, drunks, grifters, liars and sinners. Yet, somehow all of them managed to receive the love of Jesus without feeling condemned or ashamed. Instead, they were all loved and washed and set apart for the work of the Gospel and justified by the same, loving Jesus.

Apparently they had forgotten this fact. Paul had to remind them who they were when they were called. Maybe we need to stop and remember who we were when we first came to Jesus, too?  

“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many
of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” 

(1Corinthians 1:26-31)

*www.subversive1.blogspot.com

  

Dealing With "Difficult" People

It's Not Always About You – Or Maybe It Is...?

Here are some lyrics from a song entitled: "How Can I Serve".

. . . Open up some closed doors
     and use me now, or when I'm ready.

     I only ask one thing Lord. . .
that I may Love – the way You Love me.

Lord, How Can I Serve?
    How can I be a Faithful Friend. . . 

To me, movies and music are very much alike. I can watch a favorite movie just as often as I can listen to a favorite song. Maybe you’re the same way and then again, maybe not.

With music, in addition to the melodies, arrangements and production, 

the thing that often touches my heart and mind the most are the lyrics. Words are used to express thoughts and feelings. To me, putting words and music together is somehow a special formula for reaching the human soul. When it comes to movies, it’s the interaction between people that reaches me the deepest. Again, words and feelings are involved and now there’s also the visual action and interaction (relationship) between the people involved that can easily be identified with. 

I was recently watching The Shawshank Redemption with actors Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman and old-time actor James Whitmore. Ideally, 

I think it’s a movie about the consequences of our decisions in life and how, eventually, some things will work themselves out in the end. But sometimes, like in the movie, life seems to be truly unfair. Unfortunately, we’ll all experience some unpleasant situations while we’re on our journey. Sometimes we bring things upon ourselves. Then, there are other times we’ll seem to experience trouble from others that we may not deserve. We'll simply encounter people who have problems and who are “difficult” to deal with. They might be mean, hurtful, using, selfish, rude, self-centered, self-concerned and seemingly oblivious to everyone around them. Still, 
I feel what’s often happening is simply that “Hurt People, hurt people.”

In one scene from the movie, Brooks (James Whitmore) who's in charge of the Shawshank prison library has a knife to an inmate’s throat. He's been in prison for nearly 50-years and is normally quite harmless. But in this particular scene, he’s extremely upset and is threatening to kill a man who, by the way, happens to be a friend – go figure? The prison guards are nowhere to be seen as Red (Morgan Freeman) and Andy (Tim Robbins) rush in trying to help. With compassion and concern for both men, Red says to Brooks, “Why do you want to hurt him – what did he ever do to you?” Brooks' response reveals the heartfelt reality of his seriously painful situation. He says, “It’s not what HE did to me – it’s what THEY did to me!” More dire moments go by as Red and Andy continue to listen to Brooks share the PAIN of what he’s going through. Fortunately, as his anger (fear) subsides and with tears in his eyes, Brooks puts down the knife. His life is turning upside-down and he simply can’t handle it. 

In my own journey, I can identify with the pain that Brooks was feeling. 
I've recalled previous times in my own life when I unintentionally hurt 
and offended people, even close friends and family. In truth, but without excuse, I simply couldn't handle the ongoing pain of a wounded and broken heart. The pain I carried sometimes came out in, let's say, an assortment of less than loving ways. I also became aware of my need to seek forgiveness from those I had hurt. By Grace and Mercy, I came to know "The Christ who came to heal the brokenhearted." And that happened through people who knew how to love. . . unconditionally. 

I’ve also come to learn that when some people are offending us or are being “difficult,” it isn’t always about what we did to provoke them. Often, it’s about something that someone else did to them and now they’re simply taking it out on whoever happens to be around. The unhealed hurts which people carry are often misdirected toward others and sometimes it's toward the very ones we love, or who love us, the most. And that’s just the way life is. What’s happening between you and that hurtful person, well, It’s Not Always About You – Or Maybe It Is. . . ?

After calming the storm while His disciples were in fear for their lives of drowning, Jesus came ashore to encounter a man with some serious troubles – someone who apparently was a bit more than just “difficult.” 
In the account from Luke Chapter 8:27-39: When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed (“difficult" / "hurtful”?) man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at 
his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don't torture me!" For Jesus had commanded the evil spirit to come out of the man. Many times it had seized him, and though he was chained hand and foot and kept under guard, he had broken his chains and had been driven by the demon into solitary places. . . and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus' feet, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people how the demon-possessed man had been cured. . . The man from whom the demons 
had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, "Return home and tell how much God has done for you." So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him. 

Obviously, Jesus did nothing to provoke an encounter with a “crazy man.” But, He did do something about it. I believe Christ truly "bore that wounded man's burden." I think of it as “Loving the HELL right out of him.” I've also noted that Jesus had literally "broken through and calmed a storm" just to get to that man. . . 

Maybe when we encounter difficult people, God is giving us the same opportunity. Sure, there are times in which we may have done nothing to deserve the hurtful actions of others. But, it’s those very situations which provide the opportunity for us to learn "How to Love the Unlovable.” 

Below is a link to a short 4-minute video called "Get Service." I'm hoping you'll take a few moments to watch it (just click on the screen). Perhaps when we have "the eyes to see," we'll have a better idea of what others, who are hurting, are going through – and what God might have us do, in response. And maybe it's not so much about difficult people "getting their act together". . . Maybe it's about us?

 “Father – Teach us HOW to Love. . . the way YOU Love us!”

R Butch David

How to Love the Unlovable. . .

Are YOU Familiar With Their Pain?

First, some lyrics from the song In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins:

Well if you told me you were drowning –
I would not lend a hand.
I've seen your face before, my friend,
but I don't know if you know who I am. . .

But I’ve known the reason why you keep your silence up,
No you don't fool me. . .
Well the hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows.
It's no stranger to you and me.

And I can feel it comin' in the air tonight, Oh Lord.
I've been waitin' for this moment, all my life,
Oh Lord. . . Oh Lord.

You know, I get the sense that Phil may have been writing about the "others" who passed on by, in the account of the Good Samaritan. . .  

For those who've been beaten, bruised or brokenhearted, life can seem like an endless ocean. Just dealing with everyday issues is often a struggle and it can feel like you're drowning at times. Maybe what’s really needed is for someone to throw in a “Love-Preserver.” But truly, I’ve learned we can only give to others that which we’ve personally received and experienced for ourselves. And indeed, “Sometimes, the people who are the hardest to Love are the ones who need it the most.” 

Still, I think we’ve all experienced some people who can seem to be a real PITA (Pain In The A_ _) at times. As I reflect on an earlier time in my life and the unhealed wounds that I carried, I’m familiar with that kind of pain and how it affected some of my personal relationships. I've come to realize that some people, who appear to be difficult at times, aren't necessarily "bad" or unlovable. Often, they’re simply struggling with life and in truth, they're just plain hurt. A long-time friend (who was aware my burdens) sometimes referred to me as “The King of Pain.” And truly, it wasn’t a put-down. . . it WAS my reality. Fortunately, he hasn't referred to me in that way for years. These days, as I think about that part of my past, a sense of Gladness and Peace comes over me. . . and I’m able to smile.

Since being on my Healing Journey, I’ve come to accept that God allowed me to experience the past hurts and suffering that I encountered in that earlier period of my life for a reason. Ideally, I think He wanted me to know what it was like to “be there”. . . experiencing those kinds of struggles, so that eventually I could learn how to love people who were going through the same or similar trials in life that I had been through.

For you Star Trek TV fans, I remember an episode called The Empath.  

It featured an alien woman who literally “took on the wounds” of the hurt people she came in contact with. If you had a bloody nose – she got a bloody nose. If you were suffering from a skin disease – she took on the skin disease. And if you had a broken heart, well then, her heart was broken as well. In truly FEELING the pain of others, she took on their wounds and as a result, they would be healed. She bore the wounds of others in herself. . . sound familiar? Maybe Gene Roddenberry (writer and producer) was a “Believer." God seems to be rather unlimited in how He uses people (and things) to get His point across, ya think? If not, maybe we should ask Balaam. . . or his donkey.

I believe that Christ, Himself, was and is God’s Empath for each of us. 

Scripture says that “Christ bore our wounds in His own body.” He knows about (truly feels) our heartfelt wounds, sorrows, grief and pain. A perfect example of Jesus’ empathy for us, and His personal identification with our hurts and pain, is in the account of raising Lazarus from the dead.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" He asked. "Come and see Lord," they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," He said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the Glory of God?" (John 11:32 - 40)

Funny, how Jesus didn’t show up (four days late) saying to the people, “Hey, what’s your problem – what’s all the fuss about? Don’t you know 

who I Am? Stop your crying already – I’ve come to save the day!” Neither, did He try to justify what had happened by saying things like, “You know, if Lazarus had done the 'right things', this would never have happened – 

I mean, what was he thinking? Afterall, maybe he really brought this upon himself. Besides, He should have gotten well a while ago. No, He didn’t do or say those things at all. Jesus wept and was deeply moved by the pain He saw that OTHERS were carrying in their hearts. He validated and acknowledged WHERE they were at and He FELT THEIR PAIN, as well. Then, He brought a dead-man back to life – 

A True Miracle, to say the least.

 

Here's a scene from "The Chosen" Season 4 which aptly depicts what was happening in Jesus response to the PAIN which those He loved were feeling - Jesus FELT it too! 

 

  

Imagine God Himself, in the Flesh,
crying openly over the pain that others feel,
deep within their hearts. 

I've also noticed something else in that passage about Lazarus. Jesus told people, who were there, to “take away the stone.” Surely, He could have simply spoken “a word” and that stone would have been removed. 
I mean, He once cursed a "fruitless tree" and it withered on the spot. But no, He didn’t move the stone through His own Heavenly Power. Rather, Christ told regular people like you and me to do it – and it probably wasn't all that easy for them, either.  

Often, people who are wounded (brokenhearted)
are carrying around a “load of stones” on their backs
from the unhealed hurts of their past. 

Maybe God is ASKING US, in some way, to help “take away the stones” from someone who is badly wounded, or maybe in some ways is drowning or even dead. Jesus knows about the deep hurts we carry inside and the resulting pain that we’ve endured. Whether it's rejection, resentment, contempt, ridicule, bitterness, blame, hatred, unkind and hurtful words, unloving attitudes, being ignored, being put down or cast aside, and even unforgiveness – I truly believe that "Christ has been there” and He KNOWS how it FEELS. 

  

In my own life, I saw how God allowed me to come to that place, in my pain, where life became rather unbearable and it felt like I was drowning. But, it wasn’t until the pain got bad enough that I was finally ready for surgery. When I eventually let go of the "I'm okay, you're okay" mindset and I truly acknowledged my deep need to be healed, Christ started to "take away the stones," one by one, in sending me the “right people at just the right time.” I’m thankful for those people who had learned to how Love, unconditionally, because they themselves “had been there.” I’m also grateful for the long-time friends who never stopped loving me. And, as one of those friends had shared, “Yeah, dealing with you at times was 
a bit difficult – but, I felt that God just kept telling me to ‘Love You’ –  
no matter what.”

  

I also want to acknowledge my gratefulness to those people who tried their best to love me during those difficult years, even though I couldn't receive their love because of my woundedness, at the time. I believe that Love Never Fails. . . However, sometimes it may take a while for those who are “beaten, bruised or brokenhearted” to come to that place of truly wanting to “get well.” It also might take a while for them to see where we’re coming from, that is, our Heart in the Matter. I’ve come to personally experience that One Heart Matters – it certainly did for me.

God often brings difficult people into our lives for a reason,
and usually it's never for the benefit of "just one" (of us).
Even though we may feel we're called to help someone else, 

those who are hurting (brokenhearted) can often help us
to learn something, as well.

The following article shares some healthy and encouraging suggestions on How to Love the Unlovable. Keep in mind, it’s not about playing the role of “Rescuer” at all. It’s simply about loving hurt people wherever they’re at – truly acknowledging (and perhaps knowing their pain) and accepting them in their Journey, without judgment. Ultimately each of us, personally, needs to decide if WE truly want to get well – I know that I did.

His Love Never Fails,

R Butch David

*With special thanks to Dan Copan for his contributions to this article 

 and to my Personal Healing Journey.

How to Love the Unlovable

(An Internet Article*)

Often, life sends us a curve ball in the form of a very difficult person. You ask yourself if you should run, hide, or give them a piece of your mind. To love the unlovable is not an easy task. But it can be more than worthwhile when that person shows signs of sensitivity, personal strength and overcoming. Here are a few tips for the journey.

Difficulty: Challenging  [No Kidding! – rbd]

Instructions

Think about how you may be the very catalyst or turning point in someone's life who seems at first to be unlovable. You may be the 
hope, the smile and the kindness that helps that person make a 
needed turnaround.

Look for the good qualities. Everyone has something good about them. Look for that and try to nurture it, bring it out and strengthen it.

Remember this too shall pass. Know that this time and seeming sacrifice you are making for this person will not be all-consuming or forever. There will be times when you will be alone, times when you can enjoy your own hobbies and interests.

Be there when they need you. When you see subtle changes and improvements in the behavior of the unlovable one, be there to encourage and hold a hand. Support that person over the rough waters and the difficult times. 

Know you may be the only strength and hope the person has ever really had before. There is no need to let this go to your head, but have enough compassion and sensitivity to understand that it may be so.

Understand that you may be helping a person who has great hidden talents, a person who may give birth to a beautiful child, a person who may give to others that you care about at some point.

Love the unlovable because you are there in their life and it really is the only thing to do. Feel the gratification of knowing you really are giving and doing your best and your efforts may or may not make a visible difference, but hopefully they will. 

*http://www.ehow.com/how_2154678_love-unlovable.html#ixzz1HWfARxED

Two Broken Pennies. . .

When That’s All We Have to Give

(By R Butch David)

This evening, I found myself thinking about “when?” When did this happen in my life, when did that happen and perhaps even why? We’ve all endured some painful experiences in our lives, and many of them have come through the hands of people whom we care about and love. I also thought about why would God allow any of this terrible stuff to happen to me? As I thought about so many of these painful experiences, I’ve often wondered where God was in all of this. Or maybe even, where He wasn’t and where had He gone. Then an even deeper question came to me – WHEN did God ever leave me?

It would appear to be true, that there are two things God simply cannot do. We know in Truth that God cannot lie. Yet, when I consider that His Word also says “He holds the universe in the span of His Hand,” I come to think about just how BIG His back must be. So, the second thing I believe God can’t do is turn His back on us. I think it’s just too big. After all, Jesus does say “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. . . EVER.”

I’ve come to learn that my expectations of others are often the things that hurt me the most. I used to find myself “SHOULDING” all over people. I've thought things like, “you SHOULD have done this,” or “they SHOULD have done that.”  

There were other times I've also thought about “SHOULD-NOTTING” on people. “She SHOULD-NOT have done that,” or “they SHOULD-NOT have said those hurtful things.” But either way, it was really my “expectation” of what others should or should not do, that wound up hurting me. And unfortunately, that unhealthy and hurtful attitude on my part also wound up hurting the other person (even more).

A friend of mine put it this way, “I am not surprised at all when people sin (hurt us) – I’m surprised when they don’t.” (Ken Unger) I have also thought of that another way. “I’m not surprised at all when people don’t do what they say – I am surprised when they do.” And just in case any of us are pointing our fingers at someone else, we might all benefit and come to learn that the best place to point our fingers. . . is in the mirror.

Hurt people, hurt people – and that’s a fact. I’ve learned that all of us, at various times in our lives, are acting out of our own woundedness. For me, my broken heart just didn’t lend itself well to loving people. Nor did that same broken heart allow me to love myself or receive love from others.
As the saying goes, “We’re all doing and giving our crummy best.” And yet despite knowing that, we place expectations on others to do things and to give what they are simply unable to do or give. “Shoulding” on people was a bad habit of mine that I’ve worked on breaking for a while now. As with myself, maybe people who are hurting are simply giving all that they can give. Maybe we need to accept whatever that giving is – and not expect so much. Truly, I have found that my expectations need to be of God and not of others.

I’ve recently searched for some deeper Truth and meaning behind an account from the Bible. It’s the passage about what people are able to give, and even how God feels about that. . . Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on." (Mark 12:41 – 44) Maybe that’s what it’s like with just Two Broken Pennies. . . When That's All We Have to Give.

I’ve learned that people give, only what they are able to give. And to be honest, when I was living out of a broken and wounded heart, I eventually came to realize that I really didn’t have all that much to give – especially in my personal relationships with others. The lifetime of hurts that I carried and continued to take on eventually brought me to a place where I truly felt like I was a wounded soldier – one who was “lying on the ground, shot full of holes, bleeding all over the place.”

So if we think about that, what exactly would any of us expect from someone in that condition? Maybe if we said something like, “Come on and get up,” or “Why are you just lying there like that – why can’t you help me or even help yourself?” it would make a difference. Or, what if we said something like, “You SHOULD have known better,” or “You SHOULDN'T have let those things (hurts) bother you,” or even “You’re just TOO sensitive,” they would somehow snap out of their pain and woundedness???

Maybe if we confirmed to them, “I tried to help you,” that they would miraculously get better and realize that all of their problems were already solved. And maybe, if we asked the question, “Why are you acting like that, what’s wrong with you?” it might make a difference. And finally, maybe if we “should” on them a little more by saying, “You SHOULD have gotten well a couple of years ago,” they would somehow feel better and all of the past hurts would be resolved, healed and erased, along with any brokenness that resulted in that particular relationship. Wow! Those are ALL great concepts. . . why didn’t I think of that?

But seriously. . . the criticism, judgment and expectations that we place upon those who are hurting, simply won’t help. That’s just another form of “finger-pointing.” In fact, our judgment of those who are hurting, or have hurt us, usually makes things only worse. Jesus didn’t condemn the woman caught in adultery, nor did He condemn Peter (after the crucifixion) – He simply LOVED them and told them they were Forgiven – done. I think I’ve come to understand that it’s in the Forgiveness of Christ that each of us, even in our relationships with others, is able to be Truly Healed.

Again, anything other than Unconditional Love, Compassion, Mercy and Forgiveness will NOT make a difference. When people are wounded, they need to be healed – period. God looks upon us in our wounded condition and He offers His only solution to our “incurable wound.” I have personally experienced that solution is in “The Christ who came to heal the brokenhearted.” Yet, until each of us are brought to the place in our own personal brokenness that we hear Christ ask us, “Do you want to get well?” – nothing that anyone might say or do is going to make much of a difference. I’ve learned that it was God’s full intention to bring me to the end of myself. And, it wasn’t until I came to that place of total brokenness that I clearly heard Him ask me that question. It was at that time, I found myself telling Him, “Lord. . . I need to get well.”

Unfortunately, Christ’s Healing and Transformation of our broken and wounded hearts can’t be sold anymore than His Salvation can. People are simply at that place in their lives where they want it, or they don’t. And truly, I've also come to accept that "You can't make anyone follow where they don't want to go."

Aside from the miracle of healing by God’s Grace and Mercy, if you have cancer, the only thing that will heal that is treatment and surgery. You can’t run away from cancer. Maybe we feel that the cancer is in a particular relationship with someone else. But still, running away isn’t going to stop the infection – especially if the cancer is within each of you, within your hearts, in that relationship. Until we come to the realization that each of us has cancer, that is a broken and wounded heart, it will simply continue to follow us wherever we go, regardless of who we are with. The healing has to start from within (on the inside). . . not from without (on the outside).

So, until each of us comes to the place where we truly “want to get well,” then maybe all we’ll have to give is just Two Broken Pennies. And maybe even for that, as Christ said of the woman in the temple, God still says, “It is good. . .”