When You're Unfairly Accused

A Relational Look at Matthew 5:11

(An Article from KeepBelievingMinistries – Edited by R Butch David)

What do you do when you are unfairly accused? Let’s sharpen the point before we move toward an answer. What do you do when you are unfairly accused by people you know and love and thought you could trust? I added that phrase because it’s one thing to be unfairly accused by total strangers. It’s something else when people in your
inner circle turn against you. Because it is personal, the pain is
much greater. How does a Christian respond in that situation? I start
off by thinking about how to consider biblical principles that apply to all
of us when we are unfairly accused.

1. Remember what Jesus said. . .

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.” (Matt 5:11) That phrase “all kinds of evil” means that the followers of Jesus will endure insults, lies, ridicule and false accusations, and those attacks will come in many different ways. The world crucified the Lord of Glory so we should not be surprised when the world attacks those who follow him.

Some of these attacks will come against our faith. Sometimes our motives will be questioned. Sometimes our words will be twisted. Sometimes we will be ostracized for our views. Sometimes we will be deliberately misquoted. Sometimes we will be the victims of a whispering campaign where we can’t even pin down the things said against us. The point to remember here is that these things will happen from time to time. It’s part of what it means to be a follower of Christ.

 

2. Don’t be Surprised

Said plainly, we won’t always get along with our brothers and sisters in
the body of Christ. This hit me with great force recently as I was reading Ephesians. The book is evenly divided between three chapters of theology and three chapters of practical application. When Paul finishes his soaring doctrinal treatise that makes up Ephesians 1-3, the one that ends with the reminder that “God is able to do far beyond anything we could ask or imagine” (Eph 3:20-21) when he launches into the so-called “practical” section in Chapter 4, what’s the first thing he says? I mean, what’s the very first thing out of his mouth? “Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.” (Eph 4:2)

Did you get that? “Patiently put up with each other.” The NASB says “showing tolerance for each other.” Whoa! After all that high-sounding talk in Ephesians 1-3, his first reminder is, “You’re going to have to put up with a lot of nonsense inside the church so you better get used to it.” Sometimes people hear what they want to hear regardless of the facts. We should not be overly surprised when despite our best efforts our actions are criticized and our motives are questioned.

3. Speak the Truth as Graciously as Possible

It’s possible that in our haste to defend ourselves, we will talk too much, too soon, and with too much emotion. There are times when we need to speak the truth, but in those moments we must speak the truth in Love. State the facts, lay out the truth as you see it, don’t presume to judge another person’s heart (even if they are unfairly judging yours), and don’t say anything in a heated moment that you will regret later.  Sometimes the Lord uses these very painful times to move us on to new ministries and new areas of service, and sometimes to a new church [new relationships – rbd] altogether. I don’t think we can always see in advance what God may be doing in these times of trouble. Speak the truth in love and leave the results in God’s hands.

4. Fight Against Becoming a Victim

You know you’re in the victim mode when:  A) you feel wronged,
B) usually by your friends, C) involving unfair accusations, D) where you can’t get your side of the story fairly told, so that E) the whole thing eats at you day and night, and F) you can’t stop talking about it, so that
G) you become consumed with “the issue” until H) you lose your focus completely and I) sometimes say or do foolish things that J) hurt yourself and others and K) permanently damage relationships so that L) you end up miserable and frustrated and M) nothing is solved.

5. Pray this Prayer. . .

Here’s a simple prayer that has helped me many times. “O Lord, let
the truth come out and let your will be done.” That’s a good prayer because it focuses on the Lord, not on you or your accusers. What you want is truth to be told and God’s will to be done. We make a mistake in trying always to clear ourselves. In almost all these situations, the truth from God’s point of view will be more than what you see or what your critics see. And God’s will always goes beyond our limited field of vision.

6. Guard your Heart

“Above all else, guard your Heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”  (Prov 4:23) We desperately need that reminder when we are under attack. Let’s face it. . . Unless we guard our own heart, we will soon be down in the gutter with our opponents. We’ll be tempted to answer in kind, to attack them as they have attacked us, to vilify them, to smear their reputation, and in general to do whatever we have to do to get even with them.

It’s frightening how quickly we can fall into the attack mode when we are angry and hurt. Remember this. . . You can’t control what people do
to you or what they say about you. In the Internet age, anyone with a computer can make any sort of ugly attack, post it on the Internet and hide behind a cloak of anonymity. Technology has made it too easy to
say whatever we want and then post it on Facebook or YouTube or a discussion board. So our challenge must be to guard our own heart when we are under attack. You can’t control what people do to
you or what they say about you. How do we do that? Here are a few suggestions . . .Give thanks that God is working in ways you can’t imagine through these attacks – and pray for those who have unfairly accused you.

7. Forgive and Forgive and Forgive

What does Forgiveness look like when your character has been [attacked or - rbd] assassinated? It isn’t easy or quick and it certainly isn’t cheap. Perhaps we could pray: “Lord, I forgive _____________ for Christ’s sake.” Name them and forgive them one by one by one. Will that change things? No, not really [or necessarily – rbd], not the outward situation, but it can make a huge difference in our own hearts. We can continue to pray and to forgive to this very day.

I don’t believe in “miracle prayers” that allow you to say a few words and then wash away the deep pain of life. But I do believe in forgiving again and again and again. Better to come back to the place of forgiveness than to live in the swamp of bitterness. Harboring resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other guy will die. It’s self-destructive behavior. Don’t live in the swamp of bitterness.

There is a better way. If someone objects that forgiveness costs too much, I simply reply that unforgiveness costs much more. I recommend that simple prayer of forgiveness, understanding that when we forgive those who have sinned against us, we are only doing what Christ did when he forgave us first.

8. Put your life and reputation in God’s hands.

It’s easier to do this when life is going well and everyone loves you and you have no problems, no worries, and everything is right in your world.
It’s a lot harder to put your life in God’s hands when you feel the pressure of constant criticism. But that’s when we most need God’s help. And if we feel like we can’t trust the Lord when we are unfairly accused, we need to ponder these words: “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. ‘He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:21-23)

Notice that Peter emphasizes what Jesus didn’t do when he was unfairly accused: He didn’t hurl insults. . . He didn’t retaliate. . . He didn’t curse and swear. . . He made no threats. I submit to you that this is not a natural way to live. When we are insulted, our natural inclination is to return an insult for an insult. But Jesus chose another way. . . “As a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth.”  (Isaiah 53:7) When He stood before Pilate and Herod, and when he faced the jeering mob, He uttered no insults, He made no threats. You find out what you really believe when others mistreat you. Sometimes the real test of your faith is what you don’t do. Sometimes you’ll be a better Christian by not saying anything at all.

What was His secret? How did He do it? The answer lies in the final phrase of Verse 23 – “He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly." In our day we hear a lot of talk about claiming our rights. That spirit comes into the church and we hear people getting angry and saying, “How dare you trample on my rights?" Most of our problems often stem from claiming our rights. But the Bible turns that upside down. You aren’t to think of your rights first. You are to think of others first. And, sometimes the real test of your faith is what you don’t do. 

Let me ask you a question. Do you think Jesus was a helpless victim that day at Calvary? He was the Son of God. He had the power to call down a legion of angels to set Him free. He had but to say the word and all of heaven would come to his aid. But, He never said that word.

Consider carefully two quotes from Christian leaders of an earlier generation. The first comes from the renowned British Bible teacher
F. B. Meyer: We make a mistake in trying always to clear ourselves. We should be wiser to go straight on, humbly doing the next
thing, and leaving God to vindicate us. “He shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noon day.” There may come hours in our lives when we shall be misunderstood, slandered, falsely accused. At such times it is very difficult not to act on the policy of the men around us in the world. They at once appeal to law and force and public opinion. But the believer takes his case into a higher court and lays it before his God. That is exactly what Jesus did and it is exactly what we are called to do.

Now consider these words from Oswald Chambers: “Beware of the thought that Jesus needed sympathy in His earthly life; He refused sympathy from others because He knew far too wisely that no one on earth understood what He was going through. Notice God’s ’waste’ of saints, according to the judgment of the world. God plants His saints in some of the most useless places. We say, ’God intends me to be here because I am so useful.’ Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him most, and we are no judges, [of others - rbd] at all, of where
that is.”

Oswald Chambers nails it when he says that we are no judges at all of how we can most glorify the Lord. If we believe in God’s sovereignty, then we must believe God has allowed the attacks and unfair accusations. If that is true, then even the worst that others do to us somehow serves a higher purpose. Certainly one part of that higher purpose must be to demonstrate to the world how a child of God reacts when we are crushed under an avalanche of unfairness.

The cross of Christ made no sense at the time. It seemed like a terrible injustice had been done for no purpose at all. Yet when man did his worst, God did his best. Out of the monstrous murder of the Son of God, salvation came to the world. We are going to heaven because a good
man was falsely accused. We are saved because he did not try to save himself.We are forgiven through the bloody death of an innocent man.
By his stripes we are healed.

God knew what He was doing that day when darkness covered the whole earth. Are we willing to entrust ourselves to that kind of God whose ways are far above our own? When we are unfairly accused, we are to turn the other cheek, bless those who curse us, and return good for evil. We are not to retaliate, not to threaten, not to get even. Jesus showed us how to live, and he showed us how to die. When you live like this, you are truly doing what Jesus would do. When you live like this, you will baffle and astound the world around you. And you will experience the miracle of Healing that comes when we dare to follow Jesus all the way to the cross.

You can view the original unedited article in it's entirety at:
www.keepbelieving.com/sermon/2010-08-04-When-You-Are-Unfairly-Accused/ 

Judge Not. . .

That YOU May Not Be Judged

(An Article from KeepBelievingMinistries – Edited by R Butch David)

"Judge not, that you be not judged.
For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged,
and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye,
but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother,
‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,
when there is the log in your own eye?
 
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye,
and then you will see clearly to take
the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
(Matt 7:1-5)

The Sin of Judging Wrongly

Behind our anger lies a problem we rarely talk about and therefore rarely face. We have wrongly judged another person and have sinned in the process. In our rush to judgment, in our haste to make sure someone else takes the blame, in our zeal to find the guilty party, we have violated the words of Jesus: “Judge not, that you be not judged.” The words
are simple and clear. They are plain and unambiguous. Because they are familiar we tend to forget about them. Or worse, we find a way to explain them away.

There are several ways we can approach a text like this. We could spend a lot of time talking about the illustration Jesus used about the speck in your brother’s eye and the log in your own eye. It’s funny and ironic and when Jesus spoke these words, I’m sure his hearers laughed out loud. I’ll return to that illustration shortly but first let’s just focus on Verse 1. What exactly did Jesus mean when he said, “Judge not"?

Perhaps it is easier to say what he did not mean. Jesus is not saying we should never pass any sort of judgment. Every day we make hundreds of judgments about things around us. It is not wrong, for instance, to sit on a jury and render a verdict. Nor it is wrong for an admissions committee to decide which students to accept and which to reject. Nor it is wrong for an employer to decide who gets a promotion and who doesn’t. Nor is it wrong for schools to judge certain students worthy of high honor at graduation. Nor is it wrong for Glenbrook North High School to expel the students who participated in that ugly hazing incident and to ban them from attending graduation ceremonies. We all have to make decisions every day that involve other people. We pass judgment on appearance, behavior, speech, deportment, attitude, work ethic, productivity, keeping or breaking a promise, guilt or innocence, which person we believe and which person
we do not believe. Whatever the words of Jesus mean, they can’t mean that we never pass judgment in any sense at any time.

Condemnation Condemned

What, then, did Jesus mean when he said, “Judge not?” The
word translated “judge” often means to condemn. It means to come to
a negative conclusion about another person and then to condemn them. That is what Jesus is forbidding. Let me be a little more specific about this.

First, we are not to pass final judgment on any person. Final judgment belongs to the Lord. We are not in the condemning business.
If anyone needs to be condemned, God himself can take care of that. We should have no part in it. Second, we are not to judge the motives of others. The Bible says, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)  
Often we are quick to come to negative conclusions about others based on why we think they did something. But try as we might, we see only
the outside. God alone sees the heart.

Only God can judge the hidden secrets of the heart. Leave that judgment to Him. You don’t even know your own heart, much less the heart of anyone else. “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick. Who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9)  Sometimes when little children have been caught disobeying and you ask them why they did it, they will reply tearfully, “I don’t know.” That’s not a cop-out; it’s a profound theological truth. We are so wicked by nature that we don’t know why we do what we do. All of us can remember times when we did or said something foolish, and looking back we can honestly say, “I don’t know why I did something stupid like that.” But if we can’t understand our own heart, how can we ever presume to understand anyone else’s?

Spiritual Vultures

Third, we are not to be faultfinders. One source defines a faultfinder as “one who finds much to criticize or complain about, esp. of a petty nature,” and lists these synonyms: malcontent, scold, nag, and critic. Related words include grouch, grumbler and bellyacher. “It is foolish to belittle a neighbor; a person with good sense remains silent.”
(Prov 11:12)  Faultfinding is the “venom of the soul.” It destroys
our joy, drains our happiness, and prevents us from having close friendships. No one likes a faultfinder because no one likes being around a nit-picking critic. This sin comes partly from spiritual pride and partly from disguised envy. We criticize others in order to bring them down to our level. Or worse, we tear them down to prove they are really beneath us. Faultfinding is a deadly disease because if not kept in check, it turns us into cynics who expect the worst from others. The faultfinder expects failure and secretly gloats when he finds it. Is it
any wonder that the faultfinder almost always is a gossip and a talebearer? First we spot the flaws of others and then we can’t wait to spread the news. There is such a thing as a spiritual vulture. Like the vultures of the air that live off dead, rotting flesh, these sad individuals thrive on the mistakes and sins of others. They fly across the landscape, keeping a close eye out for the failures of others. Then they swoop in for their daily feast.

Early this morning, before the first service, I met for prayer with a group of men in my office. During his prayer, one of the men broke through to total honesty when he said, “Lord, too often I am so hard on the people closest to me.” Many of us could say the same thing. Husbands are hard on their wives. Wives mercilessly criticize their husbands. Parents tear down their children and strip away every vestige of self-esteem. Friends attack friends, Christians criticize each other, and many families are held together by the glue of mutual disdain. Why is it that we are so hard on those we say we love the most? But if a person we don’t know offends us, we’re quick to let him off the hook. It makes no sense.

A Few Examples

Jesus said, “Judge not!” There are so many ways in which we break this command. Here are a few examples:

Blowing small things all out of proportion – Maximizing the sins of others: their faults, foibles and their petty ways – Coming to quick, hasty, negative conclusions – Making mountains out of molehills – Getting involved in situations where you should not be involved – Passing along critical stories to others – Having a strong bias to find others guilty – Being too harsh even when speaking the truth – Adding aggravating remarks when telling a story – Dismissing an unkind remark by saying, “I was only joking” – Saying something critical and then trying to cover it up – Being unkind and then quickly changing the subject – Telling too many people about what others have done to us – Taking pleasure in condemning others – Telling the truth in order to hurt, not to help – Putting others down in order to make yourself look better – Minimizing your own sins while magnifying the sins of others

Note that it is quite possible to have a judgmental spirit even while telling the truth. Some people use the truth as a club to beat others over the head. Simply saying, “Well, it was the truth, you know,” does not get you off the hook. Our judgment is wrong when it is – Needless, Unfounded, Hasty, Severe.

And that brings me back to the speck and the log. It’s easy to see the speck in your brother’s eye, much harder to see the log in your own. In dealing with the faults of others, our greatest need is clear vision. That’s why Jesus said in verse 5, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” First, we must see clearly. And we cannot see clearly until we have removed the impediment from our own eyes.

First Things First

Christian love is not blind. God never says, “Ignore the faults of others.” But he does say, “Take care of your own faults first.” Look in the mirror! Ask God to show you your own sins. These familiar words come to mind: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)  If we would pray that way and mean it, we would do a lot more confessing and a lot less judging.

The order in which we do things is crucial. We are to judge ourselves first by asking God to show us our sins. We sit and wait and pray for the Holy Spirit to show us our weaknesses, our faults, our mistakes, our bad attitudes, our foolish words, our pride, our arrogance, our need to be in control, our need to run the world, our need to tell others what to do, our desire to have our own way, our anger, our bitterness, our lack of mercy, our lack of love, our lack of compassion. Let me tell you something from personal experience, if you wait long enough, the Lord will always show it to you.

“You Hypocrite!”

This is God’s message for us today. Did you notice what Jesus called the judgmental person in Verse 5? He called him a hypocrite. What a terrible word that is. That’s what we are when we judge and condemn others without first judging ourselves. I said the order is crucial, and it is. First, we judge ourselves. First, we are hard on ourselves. First, we ask the Lord to show us our sins. Until we do that, the “speck” in our brother’s eye will look like a log to us. And we won’t even see the log in our own eye. Once we have allowed the Holy Spirit to do his painful surgery within, once we have confessed and repented and mourned over our own sin, then and only then are we ready to do surgery on someone else. This is how you will know you have reached that point: Your own sins will bother you a lot more than the sins of others. And the failures of others won’t seem so huge to you. You’ll know you’re ready to talk to a brother or sister when you don’t want to do it any more. The person who has judged himself will display these character qualities:

Humility – Godly Sorrow – Gentleness
Reticence (Restraint) – Patience – Discretion

The Apostle Paul perfectly described this sort of attitude in words we have all heard many times: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy
or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinth 13:4-7)

Delicate Eye Surgery

To simply gaze on the sins of others is vain and empty and wrong.
It turns us into judgmental Pharisees who are quick to condemn. But once we are cleansed and humbled by the Lord, then we are ready to remove the tiny speck from a brother’s eye. And he will be glad for us to do it because he knows we are not there to condemn but to help.

The eye is very sensitive. I know all about that because I’ve had five eye surgeries in the last few years. It takes a compassionate hand and a delicate touch to do surgery in the eye. When you have eye trouble, you need a doctor who knows what he is doing because even the slightest mistake can have catastrophic consequences. Sometimes in our haste to help others, we can cause more damage than the original speck of dirt caused.

There is a difference between someone who loves you and wants to help you and someone who puts you under a microscope only
to find fault with all you do. I have found that those most critical of others tend to have the most sins. And those closest to God tend to
be the most charitable. They are the quickest to forgive, quickest
to restore, and the quickest to help someone who is struggling
with sin.

Where do we go from here? We have no time to hate, no time to condemn, no time to live in bitterness. How will we get from here to there? We need the help of God to do a supernatural work in our hearts. I’d like to suggest a simple prayer for the Holy Spirit to take over your life. Saying words alone won’t change your heart, but if these words reflect your deepest desire, then today could be a new beginning for you. . .

Heavenly Father, our problem is not with your Word.
We know what it says. And our problem is not with other people,
not even the ones who have hurt us deeply.
Our problem is on the inside. For too long we have tried
to solve our own problems and it has not worked.
We confess that too many times we have been critical of those
around us. Forgive us our thoughtless, unkind, hurtful words.
O Lord, show us a better way! Without you, we will never change.

Lord Jesus, thank you for showing us how to live. Thank you for showing us how to die. Thank you for showing us how to forgive
the people who have hurt us the most.

Holy Spirit, fill us with your power so that we might become
truly different people. Set us free from bitterness, from anger, and
from a judgmental spirit. Grant us power to love each other.

Make us like Jesus, full of grace and truth. And do it now,
in this moment, as we pray this prayer. Amen.

You can view the original article entitled “Judge Not” in it’s entirety at:

www.keepbelieving.com/sermon/2003-05-25-Judge-Not!/